He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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