We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
