he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
