I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you win again, gameday.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
