it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
