I'm so fucking centered right now
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
