I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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