PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
