her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
