The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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