my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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