He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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