and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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