Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize