He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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