you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
