I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
