I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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