So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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