I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
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I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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