Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
