A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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