I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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