She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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