i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
