I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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