If i come over, it means nothing
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ugly people sure do ruin things
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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