Kiss
Puke
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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