we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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