He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
