Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
