is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
