remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
