NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
