He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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