I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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