my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
now i know why i became what i already was.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
