He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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