i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
