I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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