Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize