It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
