On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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