Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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