i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So much rum. So many feels.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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