Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
