where am i from again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
