I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
