Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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