I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
