Whoa Z and x make the same sound
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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