check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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