Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
