so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
