he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
