Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this will be a night to untag.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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