is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
