I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
