So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
